Video full with bonus appearance from British Touring Car Championship racer Steve Soper
The year: 1985. Britain is in the middle of a foreign invasion. The Italians, the Germans and the Japanese have come to undermine the Empire in the only way they know how: by way of expanding product sales of inexpensive compact automobiles. This time, the Americans won’;t be about to save them with something more powerful than a Simca Horizon. The revenge of the Axis powers?
England, your nation wants you! Preserve calm, carry on, and drive the MG Montego Turbo–Britain’;s final hope for its personal salvation, if not worldwide domination.
In 1980s England, Maggie Thatcher ruled all, Roger Waters was pissed and vehicle lovers arrived at MG dealers to peep the quickest automobile the automaker hawked, loogie-like, from its besieged assembly line in Cowley: -60 in 6.3 seconds, top speed 126 mph. Mock it now, but the aces-cool Rover SD1 Vitesse — which also can make a cameo over — had a massive ol’; V8 and could only manage 2/10ths faster. Compact thrills arrived with a whoosh: A Garrett AiResearch T3 turbocharger gave the 2.-liter O-Series iron-block 4-banger 10 psi of increase, all managed by superstition and dark magic (i.e., Lucas engine management).
This video is a dealer-education plan that would have otherwise remained a national state secret had it not been for the wonder of YouTube, which leaves practically nothing forgot8. “Your buyers will be auto enthusiasts,” the voiceover claims. For that reason, you want to wipe the boogers and clotted cream from the seats, and you need to know that velocity holes do not make the vehicle go quicker. Convincing the purchaser that the MG badge conveyed “prestige” and “exclusivity” is a fool’;s task left to you, poor dealer. But don’;t forget: It truly is not just your ass that is on the line — it really is the collective glutes of every man, lady and youngster who works at Austin Rover, the excellent British automobile-developing concern with an entire country’;s pride and status behind it.
But hey! You are going to have a “buyer care and courtesy pack” to aid seal the deal. A Swiss watch — there’;s that “foreign invasion” organization once more. A briefcase, for power-suited company girls. Matching keychains!
British Touring Vehicle Championship driver Steve Soper, who drove an MG Metro Turbo in the 1985 season, makes an visual appeal early on in the video to add some theoretical star power to the product sales effort. “You tend to overlook that you are in a street automobile,” says Soper as he requires the automobile about Thruxton Circuit. If “the greatest saloon-car driver of all time” says so, then we’;ll believe him. Awesome 80s personal computer graphics are reminiscent of the animations from the “Hitchhiker’;s Manual to the Galaxy” Tv series, (particularly timely seeing as yesterday was Douglas Adams’; birthday, for you hoopy froods).
As constantly, Adams’; magnum opus gives brilliant insight into each the workings of the universe and the merchandise of the beleaguered British car market. “It is an critical and common truth,” says the Guide (as narrated by Peter Jones) “That factors are not often what they look.” The Montego may possibly seem to be like a forgotten relic from the Poor Previous Days of British Leyland, but we’;ll be damned if hustling a Montego Turbo close to Thruxton does not look like balls-out exciting. We’;re at the moment scouring eBay to see whether an MG Montego gift pack will make the excellent Lemons bribe.
Image from Flickr.
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